Massimo Masserini, Italian racer athlete of great technical depth (master world slalom champion IFCA 2006, FW world champion GMaster 2009, WORLD CHAMPION GMaster FORMULA WINDSURFING 2010) But even clinical psychologist, Sport psychologist, Educationalist, Hypnotist and clinical sexologist, Professor at University Popolare di Bergamo Nicholas Flamel, he prepared his sixth episode for RIWmag.
Exhibitionism: the deep need to appear at all costs in life and in sport
With the advent of the internet and social, It has become easy for anyone to get "showing" trying in every way to make anything exaggeration, by exasperated (EVEN PUTTING THEIR LIVES AT RISK). These subjects, activate and organize themselves in all sorts of ways to get noticed, because they feel a deep need to show as many people as possible, have a "like" in addition becomes a sort of obsession, and, check how many "like" I got today is a compulsion to this fixed idea.
But why and where does this deep need?
Maslow in its scale identifies 3 stages of fundamental need in which to look for this "obsession": the need to belong, of esteem and self-realization.
These subjects, that evidently unconscious narcissistic unresolved conflicts can be hidden, They seem to live just looking for approval or even others ' protest, in fact they feel enjoyment and satisfaction when you talk or are commented out their "business" or ability to show off. Often the cause of this behavior is a concealed low self esteem, so feel the need to receive continuous confirmations in order to raise.
This is not to be confused with other types of businesses, for example those of professional athletes who love their sport and try to push themselves beyond their limits with constant training and preparation, leaving nothing to chance (Although sometimes these athletes make mistakes and lose their lives chasing their dreams to overcome their limitations).
Might be considered behaviors ShowOff of the moment:
– use flashy clothes, brightly colored and quite often with questionable taste bizarre
– be photographed with (the famous "selfies") with established and/or famous people, also surcharge
– to address any selection to participate in television programs
– always try to be at the right time in the right place for some glamorous event, Despite appearing in some pictures
– transgress the rules of the highway code, by any means
– any extreme sport, with a camera that documents the risk and may be "posted"
– provoke any kind of discussion with bizarre and unrealistic ideas, also invented
– search for businesses on the edge of madness, putting their lives at risk
The obsessive need to update their social profile and check compulsively how many approvals you can get, door closer to an isolation from the real world, and the times that these people don't reach their goal, they retreat into a depression at times delirious. This neurosis is very dangerous, because it brings the subject into a grueling quest continues in order to overcome the limitations "at all costs"; This is not for a personal or professional needs, but just to satisfy this inner delusion of being "followed".
Recent videos posted on Youtube, where breathtaking mountain-bike races on the ridges of wild mountains, jumping into the void and with few protections, the ride the waves higher and big to surf, use motorcycle and car racing on roads and highways, Dive from anywhere as long as it is "high and risky", fly with Wing suits anywhere approaching the rocks, all rigorously documented by cameras, degenerate into a phenomenon, called by the philosopher Rene Girard "Camo theory": This camouflage effect, Cascade, brings many people with narcissistic tendencies to enter a phase of psychotic delusions of omnipotence, with distorted thinking that they too can do the same things and indeed can risk even more.
Other subjects, Instead, they love to show their wealth and their chance to live above and beyond any rule, convinced of their delusions of omnipotence: posting their videos and pictures accompanied by the unbridled luxury, from complacent beautiful girls, and they hire real professionals of communication and media to be helped to overcome the threshold of the world of the elite, attending the world of glamour and fashion to go in search of their space of recognition.
Feel powerful, admired, or superior to all, actually conceals a great sense of inferiority on the part of the person flashing, an unconscious sense of inadequacy towards the inner self; so to overcome this sense of low self esteem, that could lead to a depressive phase, and to delete this sense of inferiority, the flasher wants to find something to do beyond, something amazing, top, transgressive, out rule.
Such behavior, the sole purpose of performing and not finalized by an undertaking planned and regulated by a context defined, may be a projection of their own unconscious, a thought borderline, with delirious and hallucinatory strokes, where the subject remains captive and threatens to leave their identity, If you don't accept your limits and not wanting to live with their own qualities and resources, they are unique and functional to live creatively and pleasant.
To finish, point out that the need for admiration, the power to be superior to everything and everyone, highlight one unconscious need: to be loved and to love oneself in its limits.
Probably the root cause of this discomfort, could be a parental love never fully paid, not perceived, or because of a love "wrong" disappointing, devaluing.
The only way to overcome this psychotic personality trait must be sought in your acceptance, in love, in loving their passions without going necessarily looking for the sunshine adoptions, or external recognitions, but rather chasing their own improvement: only the benefits and cons might also bring forth the much sought after "notoriety".
To become aware of this unconscious need, you need a deep inner analysis, and only through a change of its inner viewpoint, you will be able to modify their behaviour, accepting your limitations. It takes time, with a good dose of humility, learning to admit your weaknesses, your mistakes, and seeking support in people who really are close.
text: Massimo Masserini 4 www.RIWmag.com
photo courtesy: JC (c) PWA